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Monday, May 28, 2007

Like a Bat Outta Hell...

Okay, my Minions, you're on your own for a few days while I run off to the Backspace Writers Conference in New York. I'm on a panel on the 31st, discussing YA (and why it's such a kick-butt genre) along with author Barb Ferrer and our fabulous agents, Michael Bourret and Caren Johnson. Author Lynn Sinclair is moderating. It should be a blast! (If I manage not to puke...)

So right now I'm busy running around like crazy, trying to make sure I'm packed and ready, when all I really want to do is start a new Final Fantasy X game and forget about the entire thing. Ugh. Social anxiety. Not fun. (But the conference will be!)

I've been rereading EIGHTH GRADE BITES lately, both to remind myself just what it was that I wrote (you'd be amazed how easy that is to forget), and to prepare for any questions people might have. Something that's really struck me is how much my writing quality has changed in this short time. The first Vlad Tod book isn't even on the shelf, and I'm already doing better than I'd done with that book. It's weird. But it got me thinking about what it was that got me agented, got me published.

For one, I didn't give up, didn't lose hope. (I'm a paradox: an optimistic, perky goth--cripes, if it weren't for my death obsession and love of all clothes black, not to mention the other things, they might take away my goth card.) And for two, I studied. Many people will tell you "to write better, you need to read, read, read", but they don't tell you HOW to read. You need to pick apart your favorite books, favorite passages, ask yourself questions. If a scene is funny/suspenseful/tear-coaxing, ask yourself why it is that way...find the answer, and then carry what you've learned over to your own writing. That's what I did. I studied, I learned, and I made it my own. And now...now I know how to write books that might actually end up on a shelf. (Note I said "might"...)

So, study. That's the key. And be original.

And send me pressies (hey, can't hurt).

See you all after the conference!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"If I Only Were A Goth" by Voltaire





I'd be thinner, I'd be taller
Go clubbing in my collar
With skin pale as a moth
Dressed in black, I'd go creepin'
When the normal folk are sleepin'
If I only were a Goth
With my hair up, I'd look fancy
Like Siouxsie and the Banshees
With silk or velvet cloth
Dressed in boots, never sandals
And the room would be lit with candles
If I only were a Goth

Yes I'd wanna die
From the bottom of my heart impure
Would I like another clove? Well, sure
And after that, we'll go listen to The Cure

I'd pretend to be a vampire
Like in stories 'round the campfire
I'd suck your bloody froth
*sucking noise*
Yes the thing I'd be best at
Is impersonating Lestat
If I only were a Goth

In my casket purse I'm toutin'
Einsturzende Neubauten
And pagan hymns to Thoth
Yes the world would be depressing
Over death I'd be obsessing
And this corpse that I'm undressing
Would be sexier, I'm guessing
With my diet I'd get scurvy
And I'd worship Peter Murphy
If I only were a Goth

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Save a Series!

Minions, you love vampire books, right? Particularly YA vampire books? Then you need to do what you can to save a really fun series by super cool author Mari Mancusi. Her BOYS THAT BITE, STAKE THAT, and GIRLS THAT GROWL series, featuring twin sisters Sunshine and Rayne, is in danger of having the publishing rug pulled out from under it, which (pardon the pun) sucks.

So right now I'm asking each of you Minions to go buy at least one copy of STAKE THAT. And if you can't buy a copy, please spread the word. Because fun vampire books are something the world needs more of...don't you think?

Monday, May 14, 2007

Yet Another Completely Useless Post

Okay, so I'm sitting here with tears quite literally streaming down my face, laughing my patootie off over these old Weight Watchers recipe cards. My particular favorite? They call this "onion sauce" but it looks more like the end of a snuff film to me. Yep. Fish snuff. Die, fish, die.

Wow. I need a life.

I could try to redeem this post by telling you that I'm in the planning stages of my big launch party or that I'm gearing up for another big contest soon...but I won't. Because it would just detract from the hilarity of fish snuff.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Everybody Needs One

How To Get A Fabulous Agent In Just Fourteen Easy Steps

1. Decide to write book.
2. Come up with AMAZING idea for book.
3. Write book.
4. Edit book (repeat until eyes bleed).
5. Decide book sucks.
6. Burn book to a crisp (dancing gleefully around the flames is optional).
7. Get smacked by the Muse with an even better idea.
8. Write book.
9. Edit book (repeat until eyes...and fingers...bleed).
10. Write killer query letter.
11. Edit query letter until you're faint...and losing your mind.
12. Research literary agents (I recommend an incredible site called AgentQuery.com).
13. Connect with fabulous agent after many, many, many, many, many, MANY rejections.
14. Live happily ever after.

And...did I mention that Agent Query is bragging up Vlad on their front page? With good reason, Minions. If not for them, I might not have Michael. Give 'em a try!

What People Are Saying About 'Eighth Grade Bites'

"A spooky mystery that's funny, gruesome, heartwarming, spellbinding, sad, joyous, surprising and topped off with a tasty blend of blood and chocolate. Yum. What more could you ask for?" ~D.J. MacHale, New York Times-bestselling author of PENDRAGON: JOURNAL OF AN ADVENTURE THROUGH TIME AND SPACE

"'Eighth grade Bites' had me on the edge of my seat. It's a great piece of fiction. It drops you right into the action, grabs you by the throat (pun intended), and won't let go. Vladimir Tod is a truly sympathetic character cursed with an existence not of his own doing, but doing his best to do the right thing. It's part 'Goosebumps' mixed with 'Harry Potter' and a dash – no, a heaping tablespoon – of Stephen King. If you're in eighth grade, or a vampire, or an eighth grade vampire, 'Eighth Grade Bites' is a definite must read!"~Butch Hartman, creator of Nickelodeon's THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS and DANNY PHANTOM

"Eighth Grade Bites is a terrific vampire tale told with a sharp, middle-school grin. It definitely does not bite!" ~Christopher Moore, author of BLOODSUCKING FIENDS and A DIRTY JOB

"Eighth Grade Bites is a delightful novel filled with dark, biting humor that will appeal to everyone who ever felt they were different. A deft hand at depicting the angst of teen years, Heather Brewer does a wonderful job blending vampire legend with the modern day horror that strikes fear in the heart of so many: the eighth grade."~Katie MacAlister, New York Times-bestselling author of EVEN VAMPIRES GET THE BLUES

"Heather Brewer has invented the most endearing of vampires in Vlad, an eighth grader juggling the woes of adolescence with the decidedly unique difficulties of being a vampire. She perfectly captures the humor and angst of eighth grade, mixed with a nail-biting adventure. Utterly charming and irresistible!" ~Liza Conrad, author of HIGH SCHOOL BITES: THE LUCY CHRONICLES

"This book will fool you. Just when you think you've identified it as a story lit by the cheery glow of a slightly scary jack-o-lantern, it becomes something else -- a tale told by the flickering light of a dying campfire late at night. And the shadows are very dark indeed. A surprising mix of humor and horror." ~Douglas Rees, author of VAMPIRE HIGH

"Fresh and fast-paced, with just the right brew of chills and laughs. I’m looking forward to finding out what happens when Vlad hits Grade Nine." ~Nancy Baker, author of KISS OF THE VAMPIRE

"A fabulous book from a gifted storyteller! I never wanted it to end." ~Gena Showalter, author of OH MY GOTH