Vlad's Interview from Hell (literally)

Behold, Minions! Vlad recently sat down with former succubus Jezebel and had a little chat. Check it out!

And now onto the really important stuff...
Happy Halloween/Merry Samhain! It's my absolute favorite time of year...Vlad's too.

Galleys/ARCs!!!

Oh happy, blissful, joyful day--not just because of the Most Amazing, Fabulous Personal News EVER, but because I got my ARCs (Advanced Review Copies)! The picture doesn't do them justice. They're LOVELY! And I got a peek at what the final cover will look like...note to my Minions: when going to the store to purchase EIGHTH GRADE BITES, bring a drool cup. Trust me--you'll need it.
I have two ARCs, with many more scheduled to arrive in the next few weeks. So, if you or anyone you know is a book reviewer and are interested in reviewing EGB, drop me a line and you (or they) might just be lucky enough to be added to The List.

Also, spread the word. Because this sucker (ha!) ends at midnight tomorrow!

Tag! You're it!

When I was a little kid, me and my siblings and cousins would play Freeze Tag in my grandma's front yard. It was awesome. We played TV Tag too...but sometimes I wonder if we just made that one up. (There was also Cartoon Tag...yeah, we were waaaay creative)

Today I'm not freezing or shouting out cartoon characters (you know, not until 3:30 or so), But I have been tagged by Erica Orloff, fabulous writer, amazing woman, total goddess. You know...Erica. :)

She's tagged me to write five interesting or unique things about me. So, here we go...

1. I have a deep and lingering fear of The Thing In The Closet. I can't sleep if the closet door is open, and I sure as heck can't get up in the dark to close it. What are you, NUTS?! It's already seen me! IT KNOWS I'M COMING!!

2. I am the perkiest of the perky goths. Though I spend my fair share of time moping, for the most part I'm an intensely happy person (especially when I'm writing something really gross or scary). Remember, kill them with a smile! :)

3. I can't swim. Nope. Not even to save my life.

4. I have two tattoos. A rose on my left calve and a dagger with a rose on my right. Both mean a lot to me. More will come!

5. I hate clowns. They scare the pee right out of me. Any clowns. Circus, Halloween costumes, birthday...all clowns. Hate 'em. They creep me out.

I'm tagging Jackie Kessler, Richelle Mead, Lisa McMann, Devon Ellington, and EJ Knapp!

Tag! You're it! *runs away*

I'd Laugh, But That Would Be Childish...

I find it absurdly amusing that Books-a-Million categorizes EIGHTH GRADE BITES under "Juvenile Fiction: Social Issues-Adolescence". *snort* Uhh...yeah, social issues are the least of Vlad's concerns....but okay. (Still very cool that it's listed there!)

So yesterday I wandered the halls of the local junior high. Man...I'm shorter than the sixth-graders! But it was way cool. Something about the slamming of lockers and the river of panicking students rushing to their next class just gave me a smile. Or, you know, maybe I was smiling because I was glad my sentence is over... Still, I can hardly wait to go hang out with the 7th grade reading class in December!

Anyway, when I got home and finished answering MySpace comments (Do I really seem that young?), doing chores (yuck), writing (yay), and eating dinner (nummy), I got an email from my wonderful editor saying that she has my galleys!!! I can hardly wait to see EIGHTH GRADE BITES in print. It's surreal. I'd pinch myself to see if I was dreaming, but I bruise easily.

Paul might pinch me though. He's kinda mean like that. :)

Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything

Take my fabulous agent, for example. Apparently, he blogs! Who knew? Not me...but then, I am supposed to be writing...

Okay, so he's forgiven. :)

Psst!

Have you entered yet? There are only two weeks to go!

New Math

Okay, so today it's foot + butt + chair = writing. Got it? Good.

Sometimes you need to have a butt-kicker in your corner. Paul's mine. Whenever I suffer from a bout of woe-is-me or wander off the path to success because of some random, irresistable shiny object, he kicks me in the butt and puts me back on track. The verbal butt-kicking may hurt during the process, but afterward, I always feel excited about my career and grateful that he put foot to butt. (Thanks, Paul--you rawk!)

So he kicked my butt yesterday as I wandered away from NINTH GRADE SUCKS (and the First Pass pages for EIGHTH GRADE BITES--which are nearing completion) to work on DEVON and this new thing (yeah, yeah, I'll tell you later...be patient, minions). I was drifting toward an older project and wanting to work on details, when his foot hit me hard and I shook off that daze. Now I can focus on Vlad again. So today I'm finishing up as much of the First Pass pages as I can and working on NGS--which is going to kick even more butt (heh) than EGB, I'm sure.

Also, I mailed out Minion Bling! If you or anyone you know might be interested in some Bling (buttons that pay homage to yours truly and yours truly's book), just drop me a line. I can't promise they'll get there fast, but I can promise they'll get there FREE. (And that they'll rock when they do)

First Pass Pages

Just when I settle into a happy writing routine, along comes something else with a deadline. :)

Okay, so first pass are the pages that will go into my ARCs, so it's my job to read and reread every bit to make certain that this sucker (sorry, Vlad) shines like it's never shined before. And to get it back to Penguin by October 30th.

Sure. I can do that. No problem.

I also have to finish writing my first newsletter that's set to go out on November 1st.

I can do that too. No problem.

Plus I have to get ready for Halloween, mail more Minion Bling (people must like this stuff--so far I've given away over 600 pieces of bling, if you count the limited edition Minion Bling 2.0!), exercise, and find time to mess around online and stare wistfully at the calender, wondering why it's taking so long for August to get here.

I'm tired already. Maybe I should put "nap" on that list too.

Only Two Weeks Left To WIN!!!

The 'Bat to School' Contest!

Just in case anyone's missed it...in honor of the debut of her newly revamped website, Heather is holding a contest! It's easy to enter, just sign up for her quarterly newsletter, The Bathory Gazette, and you're in. The contest ends on Halloween, so sign up soon! Winners will be chosen by a random drawing and notified by email on November 1, 2006.

Now, onto the good stuff--the real blood and guts of the contest. The fangtastic prizes!

The grand prize winner will be the proud new owner of a coffin shaped backpack! The coffin...er...backpack is made from genuine leather. It features padded interior sides, has adjustable straps, and a secure locking mechanism.

The first prize winner will go batty over their new Demonia bat wing wallet! This full size wallet comes with two separate compartments that snap up securely with ease. Made for both him and her.

Also, the first five to enter will receive a Minion Pack (which includes Minion Bling, all new Minion Bling, blood bag candy, blood-filled syringe pen, and a few extra surprises).

Remember, if you don't enter, you can't win!

I Always Knew I Was A Wild Child...

But now there's proof! Jackie Kessler (author, editor, succubus diva extraodinaire) recently interviewed me about my writing process, self-promotion, and which goes better with cat, merlot or pinot grigio (kidding! kinda...). Check it out over at Wild Child.

It's gray out today...and gloomy...and raining. So of course, I'm in a FABULOUS mood. I awoke with such a sense of hope, and I can hardly wait to dive back into NINTH GRADE SUCKS. Plus, on Friday, I received my very first fan letter (Hi, Anisaa!). It was wonderful...even though I feel enormously awful that I haven't been to the post office to send out Bling in several weeks. I'll mail out a big bunch to all you patient Minions this Friday, so hang in there!

And the best part of today...I get the privelege of reading Jackie Kessler's book, HELL'S BELLES! SQUEE!!! It's my very first ever ARC and I must say, I'm priveleged. Jackie is enormously talented. And I love her. Plus, she's way pretty. So buy her book or the cat gets it.

Okay, enough blathering. I've got work to do. Carry on, Minions, nothing to see here...

Happy Friday the 13th!

This is one of my top fave days, Minions. Next to Halloween. So I'm in a wonderful mood (especially after all the love you Minions showed me yesterday), and plan to make the most of it.

Today I'm waiting to hear back from my editor on some ideas I had for NINTH GRADE SUCKS and likely spending time playing catch up on email, blogs, forums, MySpace, etc. (And, you know, I may search fruitlessly on Google for any mention of EIGHTH GRADE BITES...) It sounds like I'm fluffing my day away, but I'm not. You wouldn't believe all the stuff a writer does that isn't writing, but is necessary. But after that, hoo-boy, it's back to butt + chair, believe me.

It wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I only have ninth months until EGB debuts. Wow...time flies when you're having fun, I guess! I'm really looking forward to August and holding that book in my hands.

I'm also looking forward to putting some more work into NGS. As it is, I rewrote Vlad's introduction (and laughed so hard, tears streamed down my cheeks--so, y'know, it's nice that I can amuse me that way) and worked some on another scene, but it'll take a lot of work to get this puppy rolling.

Oh! To all Minion Bling requesters: so sorry I've been lax in my mailing of the bliing. Things have been CRAZY around here, so in the next week (or two...) I'll be sure to get them shipped. Thanks for your patience!

Bleh. That's right. I said bleh.

Uh oh. Here I am again. Back in that place where I don't believe I'm actually having a book published.

It's weird. Something cool will happen, say I see my spiffy cover or someone emails me to say how much they can't wait to read EIGHTH GRADE BITES (which I greatly appreciate!) and I'll feel a little important, a little special for a while. But then that all goes away and I'm left with "HOW am I gonna fix this piece of CRAP?!" as I work through revisions of NINTH GRADE SUCKS (Incidentally, the question is rhetorical...I know how to fix this piece of crap, it's just a matter of actually sitting down and doing it: butt + chair = writing). It's back to working hard and not having little special moments, knowing that if I keep moving forward, I'll have more.

Success is addictive. Even small success.

But these between moments...they can seriously mess with your confidence. So, I'm burying myself in work. You Minions run along and spread word of the Bat to School Contest, because we only have three weeks until somebody wins!

I'm Brilliant!

Okay, at most, I'm brilliant. At least, I'm smarter than I was yesterday. Either way, it's jump on the table and Cabbage Patch time...or...you know, NOT.

There were a lot of questions my wonderful editor asked me about NINTH GRADE SUCKS, but five really stood out. Five were pretty big. But I mulled them over all last week and as of about 9:30 last night, I have all the answers. SQUEE!! Sure, these answers will mean a longer book, but the story of Vlad's freshman year just. got. better. I'm so excited and can't wait to begin making the changes!

I have other good news, but I'm not telling you that. But the editing? Oh yeah. You can totally celebrate that with me.

Someone pass the dip.

The New Improved Heather

Ta-daaa! Just like that, I've decided that slowing down is exactly what I need, and what my work needs. Usually I skip even rolling up my sleeves and dive head-first into a book, but now...well, working out the kinks of a second book in a series is proving a wee bit more complex than I thought. So in order to make NINTH GRADE SUCKS even better than (or at least as incredible as) EIGHTH GRADE BITES, I need to take my time with revisions. So...I'm not touching the manuscript.

Nope. So far, I'm living with the big questions that my wonderful editor raised and trying to figure out the answers to them. Once I have them, I'll move on to making changes, but right now, I need to think.

But all this thinking time can be headache-inducing. For instance, how do I go from an average of eighty visitors a day to an average of eight on this blog? I suspect it's the address change...I hope it is, anyway. So, you know, if any of you eight get up the urge to spread word of the new address (which I thought I'd done pretty well, but then again...maybe I didn't), g'head. I'm not complaining. It's not like it matters *twitches* much.

Okay, so it matters. But I'm trying not to fret. I'm too busy to fret.

After all, I have to go read up on the morphing abilities of vampires again (Gawd, I love my job).

How To Edit Your Manuscript Without Losing Your Mind

(and if you believe I'm capable of teaching you that, I have a nice bridge I'd like to sell you)

I don't think I'd be too terribly wrong if I told you minions that every writer edits differently. You just find your niche, your way of doing things, and before you know it, you discover what works for you. The following is what works for me (and this is oh-so appropriate as I tackle the revisions of NINTH GRADE SUCKS, the second book in THE CHRONICLES OF VLADIMIR TOD).

Step One: I print out my manuscript. For some reason that physics cannot explain, words read differently on paper. So I print it out and usually staple the chapters together, so that if I drop them (and I will), it doesn't make a big, confusing mess. It just makes a little, less-confusing-than-it-could-have-been mess.

Step Two: I get ready to edit. I grab a Diet Pepsi, settle on my favorite end of the couch, tuck my legs underneath me until I'm all comfy, sit the little desk pillow on my lap, grab my handy dandy liquid highlighter set and pen and begin to read. If something feels out of joint, I mark it with a highlighter. I go through the manuscript pretty quickly, marking pink what needs deletion, marking yellow what needs changing, marking purple what feels off, but I don't know quite what it needs. Most of my editing will be purple the first time. Sometimes I highlight a word. Sometimes it's a page or two...or three. I highlight plot holes, logic issues, even spelling mistakes. I make notes in the margin with my pen--mostly suggestions for what should be there instead. Occasionally, I jot down a helpful reminder to myself, like "draw out the tension, you twit!" or "But Vlad doesn't eat meat..." (okay, that one is actually from today) And once I go through the entire manuscript (which can take days or weeks or months) and it looks like a rainbow of "Wow...I suck", then I move on to...

Step Three: It's back to the computer. I pull up the manuscript file and go through the marks I've made on the physical draft, deleting all the pinks and, if I've noted with a pen how the yellows should be changed, I make those changes. If not, then I wait until the pinks are taken care of and the noted yellows are finished, then I brainstorm to try to correct the remaining yellows. (It's during this phase-and certainly throughout the dreaded purple phase-that my husband loathes the phrase "Pauly, could you come here for a minute?". I tend to use him as a sounding board and, at times, as a suggestion vending machine. Our minds run on the same wavelength, you see, so if he has an idea, I'll usually smack myself on the forehead and say, "I SO should have seen that!") Often, the key to finding out what works in those non-noted yellows and the purples is for me to read it outloud. Nine times out of ten, I can tell what it's missing just by speaking it outloud. How? Well, words have a certain natural flow and if what you hear when you read it outloud sounds less like a conversation (yay, fun!) and more like a lecture (boo, hiss!), then you know what needs to be fixed. How to fix it is another question.

Step Four: I repeat steps one through three. Then I print out a final copy of the manuscript to read through without a pen or highlighters anywhere near me. This time, I'm not looking for mistakes. This time, I'm reading it as a reader. This, generally, is my favorite part. I might find a few things that I'm not happy with and, once I've finished reading, I'll make those changes on the computer file, but I'm usually pretty happy with it by this round.

Step Five: I let my Critique Partner and readers have a go at it. They're brilliant and I love them for being honest. Once I hear back from them, I take the advice I agree with, leave out what I don't, and send it on to my fabulous agent.

And that's it. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? And yet, at times, it's driven me to doubtful tears. And, on more than one occasion, sent me into a fit of hysterics. I wish it felt as simple as it looked. I wish it were easy. But it's not.

The other stuff--recognizing plot troubles, identifying what's missing--has been largely instinctual for me. But the best thing that I ever did in order to learn just how to write, was to read. I devoured books, picking them apart and figuring out just what made this scene so good or that scene so terrible. If you want to be a good writer, the answer is pretty simple.

Read. And write.

Ick...How Stereotypical Am I?

Lately, I've been spiralling some into a bit of depression (bit, pit, whatever), questioning my abilities as a writer and scrambling in a panic that EIGHTH GRADE BITES and NINTH GRADE SUCKS may be 'it' for me. Stupid, right? I mean, I'm certainly not the best or brightest, but I can hold my own. Yet...I've felt incredibly down on myself and without all hope that I'll be able to grow a successful writing career. I'm not sure where these feelings of despair came from, but they started in on me sometime in August and only yesterday did I get what I really need to get past it all.

The person closest to me (Hi, Paul!) kicked me in the butt and told me to snap out of it.

All the worrying, all the self-imposed stress, all the rushing (which I always do to myself), just needs to stop. I need to take some time to relax, to breathe, and move forward knowing that I can do this, that just because I don't have four books sold my first year (yes, this was something incredibly stupid that I was sobbing about yesterday, I'm ashamed to admit) doesn't mean that I am incapable of success. I'm far too hard on myself. But that's going to change.

It helped to know that not only does Paul seriously understand where all this is coming from, but that I also have an amazing agent and incredible editor who believe in me, who know that I can write a damn good story (if I, y'know, slow down a bit). I'm absolutely blessed and I need to remind myself of that now and again.

Now in happy news, my wonderful editor sent on her thoughts on the NINTH GRADE SUCKS manuscript. I'm seriously excited about these changes--they're all things I should have seen before, but for some reason, didn't. So after I finish working on DEVON'S PLAYGROUND (which I'll continue today, to try to make the best book I possibly can), I'll go back to Vlad and make NINTH even better than EIGHTH. I love being edited. You know, after the initial OH MY GAWD, THIS WILL TAKE AN ETERNITY!!! feeling, it feels really good to know that she has my back and knows what my book needs.

In other happy news...I've been rejected by the best of 'em. To add to my seriously cool Poppy Z. Brite postcard, yesterday I received a letter from Clive Barker, apologizing for not being able to blurb my book. I knew that, actually. I mean, dude, he's CLIVE BARKER. But I was geeked that I even heard anything back, and even more geeked that he signed it. But, for some reason, Blogger's not letting me post a pic of it, so you'll just have to use your imagination.