How to Get an Agent 101

So you've written the best book that you can write. Your story is original, polished, and no matter what you do (short of dipping it in liquid gold), you feel you can't possibly improve your manuscript in any way. Surely, you think, the publishers won't be able to resist it!

But hold on a minute there, minion. Don't submit to publishers just yet. You need a literary agent. There are some who bawk at this and pound their chests, screaming, "But you don't NEED an agent! They'll just take 15% of your money!" And to them I say phooey. An agent can open doors for you that you couldn't even get close to before. An agent has contacts and knowledge that can make (and even improve) a sale. They give you a much-needed shoulder, a sounding board, their wisdom of contracts and publishing, their advice on what works and what doesn't in writing, and more. It's certainly not easy to get published once you have an agent, but it might just be a tad easier than without. And 15% of nothing is nothing, so what are you worried about?

So, what's the first thing you should do? The answer is "DON'T contact an agent yet." First you need to do your homework.

First off, what makes a reputable agent reputable? Well, good agents don't charge upfront fees. At all. A good agent only gets any money after they've sold your stuff. Yes, that means they sign you with nothing but a hope and a prayer. But it also means that you have someone who really believes in your potential. Remember: money always flows to the author. A good agent has contacts in the publishing world, established clients (yes, there are plenty of fledging agents out there that I'm sure are terrific people, but I want someone with the numbers to back him up), and a good understanding of the market.

Where do you find such a wonderful person? All around you. Great agents aren't just in New York anymore (but the majority are). I found Agent Query to be enormously helpful. Many people turn to the Writer's Market and Jeff Herman's Guide with excellent results. The key is to search for agents that are interested in your genre--ones that have a solid track record--and make a list. Preferably a long list.

When you have a list that you're happy with, put them in order of who you'd like to represent you. You'll be querying a whole bunch at the same time, but it helps to have a handy check-off list for when those rejection letters come in (and they will...trust me). Got your well-researched list? Okay, time to query.

What are you doing?! Close that e-mail box right this minute, mister!! First, you need to find out how to write a query letter. Then you need to write it, polish it, show it to your writer friends, sob on it, reconstruct it, and research whether the agents you're querying prefer e-queries or snail mail queries. I won't get into how to write a query letter in this post--we'll save that for another day. But suffice it to say that you should use plain, white paper, Times New (or Courier, if you must), and never, ever start with "Dear Bill". Always use "Dear Mr. Bill". Got it? Good. It's querying time.

WAIT!!! Double check everything.

Okay, now it's time to query.

You'll get rejected. It'll hurt. You may cry. You may not. But the key is to remain professional at all times. Don't respond and ask why they didn't like it. Don't beg. If you must respond, a simple "thank you for taking a look" is enough. And whatever you do, don't threaten, insult, or give them a "you'll be sorry" line. Agents are not evil. They just know what they like. And what they don't like.

They may all say no (and in that case it's time to either redo your manuscript or move on to the next). If you're lucky, one or two or eight may offer representation. If it's one (and you did your homework initially) then this should be a no-brainer. If it's more than one...well, then it comes down to a gut feeling. Talk on the phone, feel it out. And then get on your knees and thank the Universe or what-have-you, because getting more than one offer doesn't happen to everyone.

How do you get an agent? Be kind. Be professional. Be yourself. And follow their guidelines. Don't give them a reason to reject you. And (first and foremost) DO YOUR HOMEWORK.