Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball (or me)
Today (well, tonight, really, but honestly, who's keeping track of when I post? I mean, other than those faithful stalkers I refer to as "my minions"...heh. That would be you...) I'm feeling a bit like Happy Fun Ball. Do you remember that SNL skit? It was one of my faves--back when SNL was funny. So, for fun, we're going to toss out anything even remotely writing related and exchange the phrase "Happy Fun Ball" for "Heather".
Enjoy. (or don't...this is purely a self-absorbed moment)
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Heather.
Caution: Heather may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Heather contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Heather on concrete.
Discontinue use of Heather if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
If Heather begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Heather may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Heather should be returned to her special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Heather, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Heather include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Heather has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Heather.
Heather comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Heather...
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
Enjoy. (or don't...this is purely a self-absorbed moment)
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Heather.
Caution: Heather may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Heather contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Heather on concrete.
Discontinue use of Heather if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
If Heather begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Heather may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Heather should be returned to her special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Heather, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Heather include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Heather has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Heather.
Heather comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Heather...
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
posted by Heather Brewer at 9:14 PM
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