Live to Bite Another Day

My back was exceptionally nice to me yesterday, and so was my muse...and Vlad, as I managed to write 3,400 words for Ninth Grade Sucks. Wooohooo! Go me! It felt really, really good. I hope to have a repeat today. I'm not counting on breaking three-thousand words again...but I'm hopeful.

This new book is taking Vlad to places I'd never dreamed he'd go. He's learning more about Elysia and about himself. (There's also a new bully of sorts in town, but I'm not going into detail on that just yet) It's been a pleasure to write him so far. I hope to be doing so for a long time. Just how long? The series is five books long, but it's really all up to the publishers whether or not the series will be published. Well, the publishers...and you. I'm trusting/hoping/pleading/begging that should Eighth Grade Bites sell, my minions will give it a good sales rank. After all, the publishing of the second book in the series may depend on the sales of the first.

January 3rd is looming, my minions.

Cross your fangs, fingers, eyebrows and everything.

This Sucks!

Stretch. Walk. Sit on pillow-fluffy couch. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

That's been my week so far. Sound like fun?

The good news is that it's working and my back seems to be healing just fine. Plus, there's an added benefit of having a lot of time to think about Vlad and what's in store for him in Ninth Grade Sucks. I decided Vlad needs at least twice the crap to deal with in his freshman year and yesterday a lightbulb flickered on above my head.

Now if only I could sit in front of the computer long enough to write a few pages...

But alas, this chair (much like Vlad) sucks, so I'm couch-bound with a notebook and a pen until my back decides it's happy once again.

C'est la vie.

(Thank you, minions, for the wonderful posts & emails. As always, I owe you one.)

A Leave of (Brief) Absence

My apologies, minions. Auntie Heather has injured her back and needs a few days to rest. I'll be back soon with more posts, thoughts and, with any luck, news.

Be well.

Woe Unto Thee That Chooses Poorly

I'm not a book gift giver. I love books. I read books. I collect books. I talk about books. But I believe that reading is an intensely personal thing and just because I love a book doesn't mean that someone else will. And if I gift a certain someone with a book that they don't end up enjoying, it reflects poorly on me. So I recommend books. I don't give them to people, wrapped in ribbons and bows.

For some reason, my friends and family seem to know exactly what books I'll enjoy. They've gifted me with such wonders as The California Book of the Dead, Interview with a Vampire and Bloodsucking Fiends--and I've intensely loved them for it. I've also admired them for it. It takes guts to choose a book for another person. It takes a whole heck of a lot of bravado.

Be careful, minions, when choosing a book to gift someone with. Because the wrong book will put the gift-receiver in an awkward position. They'll have to read it, regardless of whether it seems appealing to them or not. Because it was a gift--and you don't snub someone's gift.

Or you could buy them something they'd definitely use.

Like a miniature guillotine.

Don't Close That Coffin Just Yet...

Fiction's not dead--according to an intriguing article in Publisher's Weekly by Sara Nelson aptly titled Turn of the Scrooge.

Brushing Off Cobwebs

It's been a while (well...actually only about two weeks...don't mock me!) since I signed with my agent, but I thought it might be beneficial to you minions to go over the process of getting a literary agent. It's a step by step deal, so take notes...and no cheating.

1. Write a book.
2. Read every book on the writing/editorial process you can find (especially Stephen King's On Writing).
3. Edit, edit, edit, chop what you've written into bits and edit some more.
4. Give it to a few people to read (preferably a blend of writers and readers who read your chosen genre).
5. Take the bits of their advice that make the most sense, especially if they seem to express the same troubles with your work.
6. Edit (again).
7. Repeat 3-6 until your manuscript shines brighter that Rudolph's butt (yeah...that's red too).
8. Write a query letter.
9. Read every article you can about query letters.
10. Repeat steps 3-7 with your query.
11. Organize a list of reputable agents who may be a good fit for your work by going to such sites as Agent Query, Publisher's Marketplace, Preditors & Editors, Writer Beware, and Everyone Who's Anyone.
12. Send out a few queries.
13. Wait.
14. Wait.
15. Wait.
16. Wait
17. Mail out requested partials and fulls.
18. Wait.
19. Wait.
20. Wait.
21. With any luck, an agent (or a few agents) will be interested in your work and you'll sign with them and live happily ever after. However, as often is the case, you may need to start over at number 8, number 3 or even the dreaded number 1.

At any rate, you shouldn't be reading this blog entry.

You should be writing.

Break Out The Fangs!

It's a good writing day (which is, my fellow writers will understand, an amazing thing to celebrate).

I just finished my completely new first chapter *sigh* for Ninth Grade Sucks. So...after a bit of backpeddling, I finally have a new first chapter and half of a new second chapter (but the cool thing is that the old first & second chapter will now work in somewhere around the seventh & eighth chapters). Everybody understand? Good!

I've received many wondermous holiday gifts so far, but I'm completely geeked about the Vampire in a Box kit that my sister sent me. It rules! (and so does she) It comes complete with two pairs of fangs, a vampire medallion, blood capsules and a book filled with the secrets of immortality. Who knew becoming a vampire could be so organized and easy?? It rocks muchly.

You need to get one, my minions...or better yet, get many. Then you can be my happy vampire minion horde.

Giving in to the Hunger

Okay, minions. I confess. I gave in. I couldn't hold out any longer. My soul was withering away without the sweet nectar of fiction. (er...or somethin')

I've been working on Ninth Grade Sucks. And you know what? I think, if I can keep up the quality I'm currently writing with, that my revisions could be incredibly, excitingly, record-breakingly fast. Of course, now I've probably jinxed myself.

Aside from Vlad being particularly chatty, I've also been dreaming different scenes of the book. And I got a thrilling flash today of what's in store for Vlad during his freshman year at Bathory High. I'm nearing the end of the second chapter (the new second chapter, as I ditched the old one) and I have a pretty solid view of the next few chapters. It's wonderful to be with Vlad again, even though our time apart was short.

In other news, Backspace is still down (which is probably good news, as it's forcing a few hundred writers to...well, write), there's still no snow in St. Louis, and my desk is still covered with stacks of books and papers.

Ah, bliss.

Also...

Wishing you all a very merry Winter Solstice!

(and to my non-pagan friends...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry XMas, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanzaa, Bah-Humbug, and Happy New Year!)

Cingular Is Run By Vampires!

Yep, you read it right. And it must be true--because my cell phone company SUCKS!

To anyone trying to reach me by phone today (and maybe over the next few days, I'm not sure), please email instead. Cingular, for some reason unknown by even them, has turned my phone service off. My bill is current. Before this post, I've not evoked Cingular's holy name in vain. My phone is in prime working order. Yet, when I try to make calls, it redirects me to Cingular and they ask me if they can help me.

Why, yes. You can. How about telling me why I can't make (and I'm assuming) receive calls?

This is what I get for trying to be hip and doing away with a land-line.

**addendum**
Cingular has fixed my phone...apparently threatening them with garlic works.

Why Writers Need to Write

So what's a writer to do when she's forcing herself not to write and her favorite goof-off pasttime (Backspace) is temporarily indisposed? Well, she reads. And she complains a lot. And she lets her mind wander through the field of ideas for Ninth Grade Sucks. And she blogs. And she enters contests.

For instance, yesterday she entered Ascent Aspirations' poetry and flash fiction contest. She's hopeful. And she's becoming too fond of referring to herself in the third person.

Today, I may do something that would raise the hairs on the back of anyone's neck--I may clean my desk. *shriek!* I know, scary. But in my non-writingness, my usual cozy comfort of being surrounded by various stacks of papers and books is becoming a terrible draw. It pulls me over to my desk, when I should really just stay away from it this week. Desk + butt = writing. It never fails. But perhaps if I focus on cleaning my desk, I'll become a tad more organized and my butt will have an excuse to sit close to the computer.

Dude, how sad am I?

Maybe I'll go stare at the red circle some.

Resolutions Schmesolutions!

I've never believed in making new year's resolutions. I've yet to see one person keep even one of theirs, and I firmly believe that if you truly want change in your life, you don't need a particular day to begin to bring about that change. But some people...I dare say, most people...make their declarations of change every year, just in time for the clock to strike midnight on December 31st.

What is it with people and that date?

And what is it with other people and staring at red circles on their calendar? Jeez...the nerve of some folks.

I believe this is where I enter into my usual "Bah Humbug" attitude. It's been a surprisingly chipper December, minions. Something had to give. And with a self-enforced non-writing week, I've got to find something to grumble about. (plus, I'm totally bummed that Backspace is down--even though it's due to the amazing efforts of Chris Graham & Karen Dionne working hard to improve our forum)

I suppose I could work on removing that obnoxious little blue/purple tag on the word Home on my website. But at this point, it's pretty hopeless. I did, however, manage to get blogger to publish my blog title's apostrophe (thanks to the happy voodoo of a minion named Francis). So, the grumbling, for now, doesn't amount to much.

Two weeks from tomorrow, Vlad goes to see the publishers. I hope they like him. He's a good kid--even if he does have a smart lip on him...

...and fangs...

I'm A What?!

It's one of those days for me, my minions, where I just want to lounge around in jammies, graze my way through the kitchen instead of actually indulging in full meals, read a good book, and play around online without really getting anything work-related accomplished. Jammies--check. Grazing, good book--check, check. Useless fun online--well...not so much.

You see, something dawned on me this morning as I stared dreamily at the calendar in my kitchen. There's a big, red circle around January 3rd (the day Eighth Grade Bites goes on submission) and it serves as a beacon of hope. Realistically, I realize that I may never be published. And, even if I am, that it may be a fluke...and a fluke that pays very little. I'm okay with that. But I still like daydreaming about that red circle.

Anyway, something occurred to me during my red circle daydreaming session.

For all intensive purposes, I'm a children's author.

Now, now...don't be scared. The idea of me writing for kids threw me for a loop too. The funny thing is that it never really occured to me. I never really considered an audience when I was writing EGB--I mostly wrote it to amuse myself and (as Lynn Sinclair, a brilliant author in her own right, phrased it) to say the things that I wasn't brave enough to say when I was a teen. Then, this morning, it really hit me that my readers will likely be teenagers, and all at once I was sucked back into the eighth grade, wondering if they would like me and, if they didn't, how I would react. It was scary.

But then I looked at my drivers license (which is pretty mutilated after two trips through a very hot dryer) and remembered that I'm old enough to vote (even though I only started during this last presidential election), own real estate (even though I don't) and go to war (even though I wouldn't). And all was right with the world.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog entry is that after I freaked out and realized that I, blood-writing, black-wearing, circle-dancing, vampire-loving Heather Brewer, am a children's author, I found a listing on Publisher's Weekly of some sneak peaks for children's books in Spring of 2006. Some very interesting books coming out, so it was a cool list to find.

Here's hoping Vlad makes the list for 2007.

Flattery, Blood & Chocolate

Yesterday, after sharing my happy I-now-have-a-fabulous-literary-agent news (and I do...seriously...fabulous!) with a Reading teacher at a local Middle School, she congratulated me and in a stunned, kind of awed voice, she said, "I'd love it if you'd come visit my classes!"

It was surreal.

I guess I hadn't thought people would be that interested in me as a writer just yet. I mean, I don't even have a book published! But it gave me a smile and of course, I said, "Absolutely! I'd love to." I have a profound respect for teachers (and a belief that they and sports stars need to switch salaries), librarians and anyone else who encourages kids on a daily basis to READ.

I also mailed out my manuscript and bio copies to my fabulous agent (Are you sick of this phrase yet, minions? Too bad...deal.) yesterday and now the wait begins. (January 3rd is only seven-tenths of an eternity away, after all.) Plus I finished a short story that I'm pretty proud of (not a vampire tale, but has a little blood in it) and submitted another to Byzarium for their consideration (that one's a vampire story--go figure). I'll submit the one I just finished to Strange Horizons on January 1st, when submissions open again. So cross your everything, minions!

Today I'm forcing myself into non-writing mode. It's difficult, but with the assistance of chocolate, I'm getting by.

The Last Book I Read

The last book I read that made me...

...laugh out loud was Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore. The man is a genius.

...cry was...well, it wasn't a book, it was a series of books: The Casteel Series (but I've always called them The Heaven Series) by VC Andrews.

...stop before I finished it was The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It was an excellent book, with rich description and an intriguing plot...but after umpteen times of her father saying something along the lines of, "But that's a story for another time." I lost interest. I don't think the ends of chapters should be predictable or repetitive. Ms. Kostova is clearly talented. It just didn't work for me.

...forget I was supposed to be doing something other than reading was The Stand by Stephen King. He should be obtaining deity status any day now.

...ticked me off to the point I threw it across the room was False Memory by Dean Koontz. Not because of the subject matter. I'm really open to all sorts of dark things--I love running the full gambit of emotions. But the book left me feeling cheated. At the point where I was starting to like the bad guy (he was a twisted doc, yes, but he had his charms), it was as if Mr. Koontz saw that he was likeable, so he did something unforgivable--he cheated. He did something so unlike the deliciously evil doctor would have done, in order to force the reader into the emotion he'd been intending. Lesson #456: Don't screw with your readers.

What about you, minions?

Can't Say I'm Surprised...

I'm a Loner.

Loner 75%
Punk/Rebel 69%
Drama nerd 63%
Geek 56%
Goth 50%
Stoner 31%
Ghetto gangsta 19%
Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 6%

What's Your High School Stereotype?

created with QuizFarm.com

I Killed...Again

That's right, minions. I killed. I'm a murderer. A life-sucking...thing.

Well, as far as ink cartridges are concerned, anyway.

My printer shrieked twice for me to stop (well, actually a little pop-up window came up & politely notified me that my ink was getting low, but close enough), but I didn't listen. I printed until that lil sucker was bled dry. I killed it. And I'm going to kill again.

Just as soon as I get more ink.

Today I'm printing out ten copies of Eighth Grade Bites, at the request of my fabulous agent. Who knew that it would take this long to print this much? Certainly not me. But the plus side is that I have extra procrastination time today. (Of course, later I'll be hard at work on my bio...but that's later) By "procrastination", I mean "running around shipping presents for the holiday season, in between posting at Backspace and paying my bills".

Oh...and plotting the demise of yet another ink cartridge.

Deliciously Evil Day!

Deliciously evil (wait for it...), because a dear, sweet, wonderful, brilliant friend of mine just got a three book deal with Kensington, which starts with her novel, HELL'S BELLES--a hysterical (and warmth-inducing) book about a succubus named Jesse on the run from Hell. (HELL'S BELLES is due out in 2007) Take my word for it, Jackie Kessler is talented, witty and fun--truly one of the most deliciously evil people out there. Way to go, Jackie!

In other news, minions, Auntie Heather has pretty much completed the revisions suggested by her fabulous agent and is now hard at work on her bio.

I'm on submission starting January 3rd.

Wooohooo! *ahem* I mean...something more appropriately dark and brooding...*coughs*

Lesson for the Day: Hard Work Pays Off!

My minions, there are moments in life that are worth celebrating and today I'm knee-deep in one.

I just signed with a wonderful literary agent and I couldn't be more pleased with my choice.

This proves, beyond doubt, that it can happen to anyone. You can get an agent if you really focus on honing your craft and apply yourself to your writing career. At one point I thought it took pixie dust and a dreams, but it turns out that that's just not true.

It takes work...just like anything else.

Gather round, minions!

Auntie Heather has some quick updates before she races back to researching agents and the publishing process.

So far, two agents have made offers of representation, three have agreed to read Eighth Grade Bites this weekend, and three have yet to reply to my email, informing them that I've received offers (well at the time it was offer). Everybody caught up? Good!

Let me just say that all eight of these agents are fabulous and it will be a chore to pick and choose--but don't be mistaken...it's a chore I'm looking forward to. *sly grin*

So...wish me luck, cross every available body part and mourn my sanity.

Working Their Fingers to the Bone

Good morning, minions! (Yeah, I know...I'm irritating the crap out of myself too. This happy-happy-joy-joy stuff has got to end.)

Ya know how I'm always reflecting on agents and how hard their job is and how underappreciated they really are? Well, multiply that by about a hundred.

I was up reading last night (as if I could sleep with all this excitement going on) about agents and what they do and everything else (and there's a lot) that's involved in book deals & promotion. The common thread in everything I read were literary agents. In each thing I read, whether it was about making changes to a manuscript or going on a book tour, every one of those writers mentioned their agent--and with good reason. An agent's job is to help guide you through the process of publication, to answer the really dumb questions you'll ask (and you'll ask them, believe me), to assist you in not making a fool of yourself (well, as far as your book is concerned--they're agents, they're not miracle-workers), to celebrate the good stuff and to encourage during the bad stuff.

I'll never understand why so many people complain about agents and about what "money-grubbing" people they are. If you really think about it, an average first time author's advance is something like $5,000. 15% of that is (stand back--wouldn't want you to be knocked over by the millions) $750. 750-measly-dollars. And all of that for doing what? Oh, I don't know, maybe getting your book in front of editors you couldn't reach before and helping your career to take root and grow. If you ask me, they deserve more.

At the very least, our respect.

Sometimes I Just Love Being Me!

Today is a good day, minions. A very good day, indeed. (thus the multiple posts)

I've received two offers of representation from very reputable agents and two more very reputable agents have agreed to read Eighth Grade Bites over the weekend and weigh in on Monday. Still waiting for the other four to reply.

Wow.

Wow, minions.

It doesn't get any better than this.

Procrastination: 1, Writing: 0

Well, I'm still smiling, but at least now I feel a bit more on familiar ground--yesterday Vlad and I received our first query rejection. Compared to the eight agents who are reading EGB right now, this one was a small fish, though, so no worries. If even one of those eight makes an offer, I'm a happy gal (as they are my top eight choices).

So what do you do when your manuscript garners a bit of attention? Well, you research the agents who are reading, get a feel for how many sales (particularly of your genre) they've made each year for the past however-many-you-determine years, poke your head around various forums and see what other writers are saying about them, and...you wait and see if that agent's still interested after they're done reading.

I've been doing A LOT of waiting this week. In fact, the waiting has pretty much killed my pathetic attempts at writing. If only I could forget about those agents for a few hours--just long enough to finish off the second chapter of Ninth Grade Sucks...

But alas, no. So instead I'm rereading an old favorite: Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite. And I'm playing on the internet entirely too much.

And let's not forget obsessively checking my email.

Brooding...with Glee!

Do you have any idea, minions, how difficult it is to brood and sulk in all my brooding-gothy-gloomy-glory when I'm grinning like the Cheshire Cat?

Apparently, Vlad is one hot little item. So far, out of the twenty queries I've sent out, I've received three requests for partials, five requests for fulls (one wanted an exclusive) and have yet to see a single rejection. *does a happy dance* Go, Vlad, go!

I haven't been this happy in a long time, minions. It makes me sick to death how giddy I am. My jaw aches from smiling. And Vlad? He's smiling too--grinning in that "didn't I tell you?" kinda way.

Whatever comes from this...bring it on, world. I'm ready.

100 Posts of DOOM!

Well, it happened. I've rambled & rambled and finally...this is my 100th post (of doom)! I know, I know...I'm as surprised as you are. Awwww *blush* Put that credit card away! There's no need to buy me--no, the black one dear. Yes, that's my size.

Anyhoo, Vlad & I just wanted to thank you all for hanging in there and reading even when there was nothing of consequence to read. You've been amazing--through comments and emails, my minions, you've shown me the loooove.

Thanks bunches for reading, minions. Stick with me--this is only the beginning.

Yay!

Well, I called and ranted to the USPS and, even though their website said just two hours ago that my manuscript hadn't been delivered yet, it now says that it was delivered on Saturday, so I am a happy camper.

You may all breathe a Heather-worshipping sigh of relief, minions.

Rant Against the Machine

Would someone please explain the concept of Priority Mail to me? Because apparently I missed something. Doesn't the USPS advertise Priority Mail as a service that takes 2-3 days for delivery? Was there a crucial memo that I missed that stated that they'll take as long as they'd like to deliver a package (in particular a requested full manuscript, because we all know how patient writers are)?

I completely get that it's the holiday season and the USPS is overwhelmingly busy. However, I paid for a service of 2-3 day delivery and here I am on day FIVE with not even a blip on the radar. I also paid for delivery confirmation and, so far, no delivery and certainly no confirmation.

I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going to get upset. I'm simply going to take my business elsewhere. (The funny thing about this is that up until this package, I'd always shipped manuscripts by UPS. What ever possessed me to give Priority Mail a go, I'll never know. There's a karmic lesson in here somewhere--I'm sure of it.)

As for this package, I'm afraid I'm forced to wait and see.

I Think Santa Reads My Blog

Vlad and I just received another request for the full manuscript...and, so far, not a rejection in sight.

That jolly fat guy is okay in my book.

I've Been Good, Santa...

...well, that is to say...I know others who've been worse. Does that count for anything? Regardless, I've got my "I've been a good-enough girl, Santa, so bring me presents" list all ready.

1) That uber cool black velvet Yule tree from Target. I can't find it online and only once saw it in the store, but it was awesome. I want one. And, since I figure your elves can whittle an XBox 360 out of wood, they can at least make me a pretty velvet tree.

2) The ability to pull off writing Ninth Grade Sucks. I'm off to a good start with 2,000 words and have what I believe to be a really great idea of what's in store for dear Vladimir, but it would be nice if you could somehow ensure that Ninth Grade Sucks is as interesting as Eighth Grade Bites is. Or more so. I'm not picky.

3) An agent would be nice. In fact, "nice" doesn't even begin to cover it. It's the one thing I really have my heart set on.

4) Following that agent, a book deal. (Are you seeing a theme in my list this year?)

and finally,

5) World peace. Yeah, yeah...I realize what a stretch this one is, but if you could make it happen, cool. If not, then maybe it will make the other things on the list seem more reasonable. (But if you have to pick one...go for the agent)

In Santa-worshipping glee, I will leave the usual bribe of milk and mouth-watering cookies on the table. Please feel free to gorge yourself before continuing your bribery-collection trip around the globe.

Elves rule. Hail Santa.

I Should Never Be Let Out of My Cage

Yikes. I'm a HORRIBLE web designer. It's a darn good thing Mike was there to save me.

Okay, so the website is up and looking fabulous (but for the little blue line under "Home" that I can't seem to get rid of). Over the next few days, I'll get another pic for my bio or the front page...can't have them matching. It seriously makes my eyes cross. Might just be a Virgo thing.

But the incredibly cool thing is that now I can direct people to HeatherBrewer.com. Doesn't that just roll off the tongue? HeatherBrewer.com rolls off my tongue, for sure. Say it with me, minions...HeatherBrewer.com. (I know, I know...you're asking yourself, "Geez, how many times can she say HeatherBrewer.com?" The answer, of course, is "countless".)

I decided to send out query letters for Eighth Grade Bites. And man, oh man, am I glad I did. Within the first 45 minutes of querying, I had a request for a partial and a request for a full. Couple that with the partial request I had before I even finished writing Eighth Grade Bites and you can imagine my excitement. I was twitching with glee.

Then, last night, a dear, wonderful, incredibly talented friend of mine offers to mention to one of the top agents on my list (because they're chummy, which rocks!) that a friend of hers (that would be me...are you keeping up, minions?) has written a fabulous new book and the agent should keep an eye out for my query. So of course, I humbly say, "That would be nice." (Well, I actually squealed with delight and begged her to do it) She does and says such wonderful things about Vlad and me that we almost cry. This morning, I get an email from the agent, asking to see a partial. Woohoo!

So...three days of querying, three partials requested, one full requested, zero rejections thus far.

It's a good week. Pass the AB Negative.

Website Woes

Okay, so my fabulous new website is having fabulous new problems--but I'm working on it! (as is my wonderful friend Mike Coombes)

So stay tuned!

Oooh...Shiny!

And now, as if my blog weren't enough to satiate you minions...I'm proud to announce that I have a brand-spankin'-new website! HeatherBrewer.com

So stop by, take a look around, and tell me what you think!

Stuff It!

So you've written what you think to be The Next Big Thing. It's polished, perfect, printed and, much to your delight, an agent has requested to see some or all of it. First of all, woohooo! Go you! Secondly...let's talk packaging, minions.

These, of course, are merely one humble writer's suggestions after a few years of poking my head around--take my words as you should any other bits of advice I offer--that is to say, at your own risk and with a grain of salt.

If the agent requests a partial (say the first three chapters or the first thirty pages, etc.), be certain to include a #10 SASE (for response) and a cover letter (which is basically a reminder of when they requested your pages, as well as a recap of your query--hey, agents are insanely busy people...cut 'em a break and remind them why they wanted to see those pages in the first place). Do NOT staple the manuscript. Slip your pages, SASE, and cover letter into (ideally) one of those cardboard Priority Mail envelopes and you're ready to go! Feel free to use a bubble-padded envelope or a manilla envelope, but trust me when I say that the cardboard Priority Mail envelopes are SO much nicer.

Now if the agent requests to see the full manuscript (!!!), then you need to include a cover letter, SASE and, depending on the agent, possibly a dreaded synopsis of your novel. Again I will say, do NOT bound your manuscript in any way! Simply wrap a rubber band around it, stuff it into a big, bubble-padded envelope and you're all set!

Now, this is very important...mark on either side of your envelope (this goes for both partials and fulls) "Requested Material". That way the agent knows that you're not just some schlub trying to sneak one by him or her.

And if you are a schlub thinking of sending an unsolicited manuscript to an agent...don't. They really dislike that and, need I say, minions, that that's seriously rude?